White Sash

August 26, 2015 Leave a comment

Several years ago, I started training in Wu Tai Yen kung fu. It was the only martial arts training I had ever gotten involved in. The positions and movements were completely alien to me, with few exceptions, and I only went a couple of weeks, then I stopped going. Perhaps a year or two later, I started going again, maybe for just a few months, before I ran out of money, transportation, and time. Some years layer, I started going again, and stayed with it for four more months. In that time I earned my gold sash. The following is just a general chronicle of some of the difficulties I’ve faced and rewards I’ve gained by studying.

At first, everything is awkward, and exhaustion sets in quickly. It’s frustrating because after each session you don’t feel any different. It feels like you’re throwing your money away, and accumulating bruises and other minor wounds for no reason. On my most recent commitment to the styles, I had already learned some things and integrated some technique into my muscle memory, so I had forgotten about some exercises that new students would practice, and resumed from where I had left off. This further aggravated the experience of not getting anywhere, as I was under the impression that I was starting from the very beginning again. However, I was starting from a more advanced point of progress, and was gaining experience faster than I had realized.

In these months, I have been stretching, doing forms (family forms derived from Wing Chun, the first 1/9th or so of the 108 wooden dummy techniques, and long fist), participating in chi sao and challenge/response drills, and moderate sparring. I have also dabbled just a little in Qin Na.

Now, I can stand in goat-squeezing stance long enough to practice the siu nim tao several times, as well as bend, flow, and move in ways I could not before. Now, I don’t get tired at work. I don’t get sore like I used to, and what soreness I do have is much more easily dismissed. I can read the motion of others much more completely and accurately. Everything I do is better in ways that is hard to explain. I have body confidence and my social anxiety is gone (though kung fu isn’t the sole reason for that).

Not long ago, I went and got myself a set of kung fu clothes (shoes, pants, lapel), as well as a white sash, so I would look the part and display my dedication to the art.

Then one day I heard through the grapevine that Sifu was going to test me for my gold sash, and within three weeks, that’s exactly what happened. The forms were rough,┬ábut passable, and I got 100% on the written part. So now I have the gold sash and we have brought in two new students. As I was exercising and drilling with the new students, I was shocked at now new and unpracticed they were. Two things are at play to create this impression. One is that I was the new guy until that day. There were three other students, all at various points beyond me and this gave me the sensation that I was “just no good at this.” The other is that I was expecting them to come in with the skill that I had when I had returned for the most recent commitment (I had forgotten and discounted the skill I had gained during my prior spans).

My experience has been difficult, as I have not done foundational work for this kind of discipline, though some of the gains expected from that foundational work has come simply from doing the curriculum. Now that I have a gold sash, I think it’s time to make sure that my foundation (flexibility, strength, endurance, willpower, wisdom) is in place for the course ahead.

The gains, however, have been priceless. Certain kinds of pain, weakness, and lethargy have been all but expunged from my life. I am happier, stronger, and tougher. I am more graceful, more confident (in all things), and attract people to me. And should, God forbid, I have to apply force to someone, there’s a much, much better chance it will go my way.

Categories: Kung Fu Tags:

Your number’s up, Feminist!

November 30, 2013 Leave a comment

So I was watching Victor Zen on YouTube the other day, critiquing the next dingbat feminist heroine, and I had a flashback from my childhood.

Victor Zen is Ladd Spencer

Victor Zen is Ladd Spencer from Bionic Commando!

021

Wow.

Categories: Sexual Politics

Good-Natured Blue-Pill Ribbing

Recently while I was at work, the topic of conversation had turned to strip-clubs. It was among three men, myself included. I forget how the beginning of the conversation went, but at some point it came out that I thought that patronizing a strip-club was a dumb thing to do, and that I don’t have the money or patience for it, nor am I all that inclined to go in the first place.

They quickly turned on me and uttered the same phrase in rapid succession. No kidding, I heard a minor variation of this sentence eleven times: “He can’t handle the strip-club.” Seven times from one of them, and four from the other, who said it slightly less frequently, as if they were having a conversation. I tried to interject a few times to argue my position, but I hadn’t really caught on to what was happening yet.

So here it is, my manhood on trial. Call it a good-natured ribbing if you will, but the underlying tone was that it’s unmanly not to want to go to strip-clubs. I eventually stopped trying to edge my explanation in, eye-rolled, and excused myself from the conversation (implicitly). I was shocked at how many times the exact same thing was said, and they were both saying it in rough alternation like they were having a conversation! I was prepared to have a difference of opinion with them, but I didn’t expect this one to manifest so uniformly and emphatically. I’m not so hurt about the man-hood thing — they don’t know I’m self-defined. I am upset about being shouted down and the attempted shaming. For some reason, even though I don’t think highly of them in the first place (pussy-addicted thralls), it still stings to be verbally assaulted by someone I was just speaking to civilly not 20 seconds ago.

So I’m not sure what the appropriate response to this would be, but I want to express my dissatisfaction with their emotional hang-ups, and my condemnation towards those who protect their shortcomings by attacking others. I wanted them to know that I value my own opinion of myself more than both of theirs combined and how I felt about them and what they were doing, and I wanted it to sting. How do you tell a pussy-addicted thrall they’re a pussy-addicted thrall in terms they can understand?

Categories: Men's Sphere, MGTOW